At times, I believe I do want to be a father. Watching those little human running around, blabbering gibberish, mimicking adult's word and action, watching them grow day by day, learn a new thing, surprise you with some random "I love you daddy" moment. And so on.
But sometimes, I feel like I'm not entitle for all that joy. I mean, I'm not a good son myself. My father is not the greatest but he's still my father. He just.. not around. And I have no idea what's a good father looks like, neither that I know whether I could be a good one?
Have faith and be a good husband, that is the best thing I can do.
At least for now.